Jenny's guide to being bored.

It has been two months and twenty one days since I moved back to Wolverhampton, that's a whole one thousand, nine hundred and sixty eight hours I have had to amuse myself. Minus the five hundred and seventy hours I have spent sleeping of course! I wish I was one of those people that can sleep all day long but instead I am a ridiculously energetic person that wakes up as soon as the sun comes up and the birds start to sing. I have had an amazing two week holiday in Lanzarote, two weeks at work and plenty of days out but there are still sooooooooo many days in between that have to be filled with something.

BUT let's not complain about all my free time any longer! Here is my guide (complete with pictures) to being bored...

"The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things."

- Henry Ward Beecher

One: Firstly one must become a lazy cliché, more commonly known as a couch potato. This can be achieved my spending prolonged amounts of time sat on the sofa without moving. Some couch potatoes also like to have a stash of drinks and snacks close by so they can minimise the potential efforts in having to go and fetch things. A very serious side effect of this however is numb bum. Optimise your television usage by having a go with all of it's features all in one day. On demand, DVD's, blu-rays, PS3, Wii, Xbox... maybe even teletext or mess about with the settings? Up the saturation and turn people into Oompa Loompas. Just remember how to change it back.

Two: Stare absently at the fridge in search of something yummy. If you do not prevail, repeat this action with the freezer, pantry, cupboards, under the floor boards, mum's secret stash... etc.

Three: Foot face. This one is especially for Nikki... or monkeys.

Four: At home gym. Make use of your treadmill, rowing machine, exercise bike, wii fit, fitness DVDs and get that lean body you always wanted....

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!

Five: Do some internet shopping and order loads of stuff that you know deep down you don't need. Then sit  around, pace nervously and complain about the postal service in your pyjamas all morning until it finally gets delivered. Then you can have the minute of euphoria that your parcel has arrived which is ruined 5 minutes later when you realise nothing fits and you wasted £3.95 on delivery costs. Unless you got super saver delivery and ordered a scarf (which of course fits so I proceeded to wear it in all of the pictures taken for this blog post).

Six: Experiment with alternative sitting positions. This could help prevent the numb bum situation I mentioned earlier, plus I am SURE you could be burning some calories with all that shuffling about. This is a Nikki creation beautifully modelled by Nikki herself.

Seven: Become a make-up/nail/hair ARTIST. There are plenty of tutorials and stuff to help you on YouTube... literally THOUSANDS to choose from. Shall we try the blue eye liner look?

NAILED IT!!!

Eight: Have multiple naps. I can't do this as I am a stupidly light sleeper :'( I am only pretending in the picture.. I know right, such a good actress! But seriously, if you have the ability to sleep at any time then you should definitely catch some z's.

Nine: Help with the housework because you have soooo much free time and the house would look lovely if it was all gleaming and stuff....

NAAAAAAAAAAT!

Ten: Scary fencing face. I made this one up on Friday on the way back from Merry Hill shopping centre. Nikki bought a sieve to add to her ever growing pile of Uni crap. I am pretty sure I don't own a sieve? Oh well! I taught her how she could properly utilise it; by pretending it was a fencing mask and staring at people through it.. out the car window.

Eleven: Aggravate people. You are suffering because you are so so so so so so so bored and I believe they should suffer right along with you. Here is a quick list of aggravation techniques to get you started...
1. Mess someone's hair up as you walk past. repeatedly.
2. Drink lots of coffee and be really perky around someone who is really tired.
3. Toe poke. This can be used in almost every situation and has a 100% success rate. It is also useful if you can point your big toe independently from your other toes like I can. I know I'm a freak.
4. Make camel noises about everything; hungry? thirsty? tired? bored? Wack out the camel noise. I have been doing this with Nikki ever since we rode camels in Lanzarote. They make a loud noise that is gravelly and sounds kind of like "WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAA" 

Twelve: Sofa Cycling. A childhood invention that just followed us right through our teens, even though we are three feet taller now then we were then; My mother strongly believes that this is the reason our sofa broke. See the video below as for this one, words escape me.

Thirteen: The ball of despair (An alternative to the foetal position). Use only when you have done EVERYTHING in your power to escape the boredom. Have you? Really? are you definitely sure? Okay then, curl up and contemplate your life.

I hope this helps guys :) Ciao!