This too shall pass.

Confession time. I am a massive Nervous Nellie. You might think I seem confident and that I've got it all together but I certainly don't! I worry about all sorts of things, from calling someone about council tax to a workshop observation in a few days time. I would say that I'm quite chilled out and I can actually deal with last minute situations really well BUT if I know if something is coming up I can't help feeling nervous and anxious about it, no matter how silly. I need to call HMRC about the emergency tax I paid in October. It's now two weeks into November and I've not done it because I'm worried that I won't have all the information they need or I'll mumble all my words together! Ryan will tell you that I often ask him to do things like this just so I don't have to worry about it.

Last year when I was teaching I spent an awful lot of the time feeling nervous - not because I can't handle teaching, but I was worried that I wasn't doing what was expected from the school I was in. In my new job I am so much more relaxed and I can sleep through the night without dreaming about staff meetings. However this week and last week, when I had observations coming up, I felt the familiar anxious feeling coming back. When my nerves are at their worst I struggle to sleep because I can't get my mind to stop and when I do fall asleep, I just wake up at ridiculous o'clock in the morning because I want it over and done with. I can never eat anything either because I feel so anxious and I often get sweaty palms and blush a lot too!

Image from Pinterest.

It feels so silly that I manage to work myself up over things that I can't change and 99% of the time it all works out well! I'm already doing things differently by choosing things that make me happy and spending more time chilling out. I still want to work on ways that I can be more relaxed and less worrisome! There have been a couple of blog posts I've enjoyed reading this week as they've shown me that I'm not the only one who needs to focus less on the future on more on now...

• Rosie's sacred self care
• love blog update from my yoga teacher.

Living in the NOW

Things I already do:
Reading: Getting lost in a good book is my favourite way to take my mind off any worries I do have.

Image from Pinterest.

Go to bed early: I am an early bird anyway but it's so important to get a good night's sleep so you wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day.

Spend time outside: I am so lucky that I get to do this all the time at work as well as walking to and from work most days. It's true what they say about happy workers walking or cycling to work. Ryan often wants to get out and about on our days off too which is always a bonus.

Do things I enjoy: I now make more time for all the stuff I like doing.. even if that is watching hours of Buffy on netflix with Ryan. Sometimes I draw pictures, play scrabble or bake cakes.. whatever I feel like doing! I am also really loving my new yoga class- it's enjoyable, I learn lots and I get some extra relaxation practice too :)

 

Things I should do more of:
Switch off: I am as guilty as anyone for spending too much time on social media, reading rubbish articles, testing different photo filters and generally comparing myself and my life to everyone else. If I spent less time doing all that, I'd probably care less about what others were up to and actually focus on the good things I have all around me.

Image from Pinterest.

Drink more herbal tea: I love a good cup of tea! Any caffeine after 5pm however is a big NO because my mind just won't sleep. I recently bought some chamomile tea to try in the evenings so we'll see what happens.

Meditate: I find this soooo difficult. On my ipad there are numerous apps that claim to help me become more mindful but I can barely sit there for two minutes without thinking about what is for dinner.

Image from Pinterest.

Believing in myself: I am a massive geek at heart and I hate it when I can't do things well or if others might think I'm stupid. I know what I'm good at, I just have to believe that I can and stop being so critical of myself.

 

Images from Pinterest.

October round up

It's a week into November already? Well October passed me by in a happy blur of pumpkins, leaves, rain and facepaint! It was a big month for me and Ryan as we moved in together (as well as relocating to Cornwall) and I started a new job that wasn't in a standard classroom! I've not blogged for a fortnight as this is the first time I've had time to sit and reflect on what I've been doing... plus my laptop is broken but that's a story for another time :)

October's five happy things 

One: Since we moved we've had a few visitors and spent time with our families. Ryan's Dad and Julia visited this weekend and left this morning after a very busy Saturday and plenty of my homemade beetroot brownies. My Mum and Dad helped us move in last month and definitely took advantage of having a long weekend break in Cornwall. We had tea and cake in St Ives and there was even time left for some seal spotting at Godrevy. During half term my Nan and Grandad were holidaying in Looe with my Aunty, Uncle and cousins, so I spent a day with them perusing the many shops in Looe and catching up over a pub lunch. It's always nice to have visitors so I'm looking forward to some friends maybe visiting next.

Two: Ryan thinks I'm silly for saying that we only just moved in together because we have technically been living with each other since May. However, I am still really excited that we live together as a couple now! It's been really cute coming home from work to a cooked dinner and then snuggling up in our armchairs like Carl and Ellie from UP. The little things like cooking together, watching our favourite TV programmes and lazy mornings together have made me smile. 

Three: Going to Yoga class! I've had two classes now at Mind, Body & Soul Yoga and I've really enjoyed them. At Uni I had loads of time to focus on my home practice (and instagram it!) but since teaching last year I let work take over and my pratice stopped. Going to a class is more expensive but it makes me give time to something I really love doing and I've learned a lot about the flow between asanas and the benefits for my body. The teachers are great and each class is personalised to the seasons and focused on different elements in your body. We also do a deep relaxation complete with lavender eye-pillow and a hot stone on our chakra for energy. I am loving the zen feeling!

 Images from Pinterest

Four: My job is going really well and I've enjoyed every minute. I've been on the education team just over a month now and I've learned a few workshops. I had my first observation this week so I could get signed off on my first workshop. I did feel rather anxious about it because I really wanted to impress. I thought school observations were bad, imagine having a two hour observation with a class you just met, yikes! I also wrote the lesson plan for the November newsletter which will be available soon - teacher friends, sign up! As well as learning workshops and teaching I also did another team a favour and worked Halloweden. It was an incredibly busy week but also a lot of fun! I'm guessing a lot of you saw my facepaint selfies on instagram!

Five: Autumn days. They are my favourite! I love days out with Ryan and I love walking to and from work and just taking in the beautiful landscape. I'm sure there are many more to come in November but for now, goodbye October!

I am colon capital D

While on the phone to my Mum the other day she commented on how happy I sound lately. It's true that compared to last year I am far more relaxed and just enjoying what life brings. Life in Cornwall is fabulous and my new job is awesome! I have been at Eden a month now and I STILL can't believe I work there. Currently I am working with Eden Live on their Halloweden team where I have to run Halloween activities and generally act creepy. It is weird working half term when so many teacher friends are putting their feet up but I am having so much fun! Hopefully all of the families that visit have been enjoying it all as much as me.

The potion bar full of dried fairy wings and pumpkin ashes. You even get to finish off with a puff of Goblin fart.

The face painters and pumpkin butchers are so talented. I am enjoying having my face painted each day... Probably a little too much!

When I haven't been working I have been enjoying my Autumnal favourites. Ryan got a new allotment which needs a lot of work so he has been spending lots of time there planning what to do with it and getting started on some jobs. I go sometimes and take on a supervisory role, though I did dig a new bed and plant some garlic this week! We also spotted a toad and a frog hiding out in the grass which was cool. Last weekend we finally visited Castle Drogo where we played in the crunchy leaves, peered into the bug hotel and checked out their restoration project. It was interesting to see restoration work actually happening on a National Trust project and we got to go on the scaffolding..eek! 

Taking the role as allotment Queen and our new friend the frog!

Autumn fun at Castle Drogo.

On wednesdays we wear pink.

This week I really want to talk about friendships. I've just moved to Cornwall which is miles away from any of my friends and I've been thinking about how it becomes more difficult to make friends as an adult. The concept of friendships was so much simpler when I was at school and University where you are thrust into a world of people that are a similar age and experiencing the same things as you. From playing with the same toys to choosing the same A-levels or complaining about marking books every evening, there has always been a group of peers to relate to.

Image from weheartit 

I've grown up in a world where girls are supposed to have a 'BFF' for life but I've never fit into that mould. For me, high school was a blur of making friends, falling out with friends, having really fake friends, battling with bully ex-friends and flitting from one group to another. By the time I got to University I realised that it is okay to be part of lots of groups and that actually, one person isn't going to be your mirror image and won't want to do all the things you want to do. Also, just because someone likes the same things as you, doesn't mean you will get along. What I have learned is that, as an adult, I require a handful of true friendships, not necessarily a best friend to do everything with. I lost a lot of friends as I got older because you grow apart as you began to have different experiences and understand yourself a lot better.

Image from Pinterest

There are those friends however that I do have a connection with and no matter what happens they remain in my heart. It's been said that everlasting friends can go ages without speaking and never question their friendship. These friends know that regardless of how long it has been or how far away they live, that you will talk as if you saw each other yesterday. These friends understand that life can get crazy and busy sometimes and they know that you will always love them.

 

Image from Pinterest

Now that I've decided to make another big life change and move to Cornwall, I'm going through the whole making new friends all over again. Everyone at work has been lovely and Ryan has already learned lots of their names from my many work stories. We'll have to wait and see how those friendships develop in the future! On Tuesday I'm going to my first yoga class at  Mind, Body and Soul Yoga; I'm both excited and a little nervous. Maybe I'll make a couple of Cornish yogi friends in the process... fingers crossed! 

A life update.

I live in Cornwall! YAY! The journey wasn't an easy one but we are finally snuggled in our own living room, cup of tea in hand and contemplating what to have for dinner. In true Jenny and Ryan fashion we are watching 'A Place in the Sun: Home or Away' and checking out other properties already!

I've already been in Cornwall for a week now as I started work at The Eden Project on Tuesday. There was a week long wait in a B&B on my own until my parents and Ryan, complete with a van full of our stuff, finally joined me here on Friday ready to move in on Saturday. In a way it was nice to have a week to focus on work before I had to stress about the big move - I learned so much!

I work in The Core which is a purpose built education centre both for the public and school trips. I spent the week trying to learn a few workshops and I team-taught a Chocology session on Friday.

The rainforest biome is where most of the fun happens! I've loved showing children how to survive like the Kombai tribe and where chocolate comes from. There are loads of cool plants to point out along the way but I've only learnt about a handful of the 4,000 different species at the moment. I won't be doing guided tours any time soon.

The Mediterranean biome is a little more temperate - it gets a little humid and sweaty in the rainforest! I haven't done any workshops in here yet but I've been sent off to complete plant trails and learn as much as I possibly can. My favourite parts are the citrus grove and the chilli plants!

After an exciting week I needed to rest and put my feet up but I had an equally exciting, whirlwind of a weekend! FINALLY it was our move in day after many frustrating weeks of the date being pushed back. We looked at loads of flats, bungalows and houses all over the place but finally settled on a winter let in a furnished holiday cottage. It was cute, simple and has friendly neighborhood cows on the farm. Once we saw the gorgeous views from the bedroom and realised it was a 15 minute walk to Eden we just couldn't refuse! For those readers that love a little nosy into home interiors, just like me, here are a few pictures...

Living Room:

Bedroom:

 It's early days still and we are currently battling with dodgy wi-fi and a lack of phone signal but I think we will be very happy here. I'm back at work tomorrow for week number two so fingers crossed for no rain on my walk there! I haven't been issued my Eden waterproof yet BUT I do have an official email address :P